4ever_sleep

 I've been so busy with school, like no lies.

So I'm getting really close to a new friend of mine from photo class. She's really sweet, despite some first impressions i've made of her and like, she has a shitty life. I just helped her move out of her house today cause her mom is a bitchface ruining her life.

It was pretty crazy >>

BUT because my Mama is pretty ballin', she is willing to 'adopt' my friend and my friend can stay over when she needs to and eat over here when ever. :3

Its gonna be pretty awesome hopefully.

Anyways, tomorrow I am being a model in artistic nude photography, quite possibly. And I want some shots of some one else nude myself. And when I say artistic nude I mean by High School standards where in photos they have to be covered but they are allowed signs of obvious nudity. If you can understand that.

... well thats all.. I guess xD

 OMGOMGOMG I'M TALKING TO GEERT ON SKYPE  AND HE IS SOOOOOOOO FUCKING CUTE!!!!!!!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

*breaks face from smiling too much*

SSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

I'm so sick of trying to explain this.

I'm not doing it here though. I'd rather do it on IM or face to face but seeing as school gets in the way, IM works.

I'm just getting tired of all of this. I know it hasn't been going on for long but I am. I hate that I can't explain how I feel correctly without insulting you. I tried but I was caught off guard. And even when Gabby tried, and she used what I told her to say for the most part, it was still lost.

So I dunno what to do.

If you get on MSN I'll talk to you because I want things cleared up and I don't want you to think that I think poorly of you. Because I don't. I don't hate you, I'm not holding a grudge for that one little thing. I'm holding one on BOTH OF YOU GUYS FOR SHATTERING MY GODDAMN SOUL but not for the fight that was completely pointless.

And really, right now, all of this is just stupid. 

 Gabby came over and modeled if you haven't already noticed by her LJ and my Facebook. Lol It was hilarious trying to figure out what to do. It was fun, but I'm really tired. Gabby, you need to stop elbowing me in your sleep woman D:< LOL

Its cool though..

Umm... Geert is fucking fantastic! Lol. 

That's it, that's all I got, I'm so tired right now. And I still have physics I gotta run and work on soon >> 1-14 is due Tuesday and though its not hard, I still have to get it all done >> And read three chapters of Frankenstein which is also due Tuesday. 

Oh man.. Geert is cute <3

:D I'm talking to him now. He fell asleep last night again which is fine, I'm used to it really. Like, really, how do you not expect it when he's six hours ahead of you? But he's cute.

I dunno... I'm gettingtired of people being all "OMG why the hell are you dating him when he's so far away?" Yeah I still get asked and its because I fucking love him. THREE YEARS. MAYBE FOUR. What's the longest relationship YOU'VE been in jackass?! Yeah that's what I thought. (LOL arguing with no one. >>)

Anyways.... yeah.

Lol Pokemon! He's playing pokemon!! 

I LOVE THIS GUY!!!!

 I'm sick. I keep getting up every ten second to blow my nose because snot is coming out of one side. I'm coughing every other minute and can't breathe because of it. We have no good tasting day time medicine, so I have to wait till its bed time to get some help. And of course I can't tell if I'm getting better or worse.

Like I'm not coughing as much as I used to if you can imagine me coughing more. But I do have nose problems now and I think I'm getting body aches. :| I can't tell.

-sighs-...-coughing fit-

And more bad news, I was freaking the fuck out Thursday night because Geert didn't say I love you too for a little while, and I was freaking out because of my stupid period, and then he does tell me he loves me too which I knew the whole time but because of the little panic, I have loads of new theories as to what he does, and then I get mad at myself for thinking badly of him... I dunno. 

I love him though. And he love me. And I would love it if he got Skype. Oh thank you Dj! LOL

Like they have this webcam, video option to where you can just sit there and talk and stuff. :3 Its bitchin' in the kitchen. And I want Geert to get Skype for this reason alone. Not soon of course, I wanna wait till I get better and make myself pretty 8D

Cause right now, I'm wearing my flannel shirt again, but its all wrinkled an stuff, my face is crap, my hair is crap, I'm dying every few seconds, and I have a tissue stuffed up my nose so I don't have to run and get more tissues (Hey its working!)

So yeah... If he saw me... oh boy >>

But yeah Skype is cool. Could have been cooler if I could actually hear everything instead of coughing and missing everything. :/

I'll just pass the time by taking super awesome pictures.

 So like, wtf?!

First off I got pissed because this bitch and this dude took our table and Emily and Gina tried to get our table back and the girl was acting like we should expect it when it rains that people are going to take our seats. Because, at the beginning of the year, when you choose where to sit, no one could have guessed that weather existed in the outside area, and that the inside area protects you from that 'weather'. 

So  of course we should give up our seats to those that get trapped in that horrible, horrible rain even if there are perfectly good seats, it is a struggle to walk, it is so hard, but the inside people need to do our duty to these poor helpless people to give them our seats. 

/angry sarcasm is angry.

But really. What do they expect when they go outside? Perfect weather year round, just for them? Yeah, we're going to make a fuss over a stupid table because its our stupid table! OURS!

We're going to throw their shit outside though if they try and take it ever again. Especially tomorrow. We didn't bother with a fight, but we will tomorrow. If not, I'll cough insanely on the bitch and call it Swine-flu. Just for her! :D

And then I found out seniors don't get out a week early. At least not any more. They took that out officially. Like, it was never fully approved that we could get out early and because we have to go 180 days of school and the week out give us 175, we can't have it anymore. Its stupid, why can't we have that extra week? Why is it that missing five days of school is going to make us combust?? 

If we graduate before school starts I'm not going in that last week. I'll go in for finals so I don't completely fail school, but I am not going in those last few days. I'm not. I miss something oh well. I've already graduated. I've already got my diploma, they can't do anything to me. They can't take it back.

I'm not going.

I refuse.

So like... I asked Mama if I could go with Mrs. Francis and other students on a summer trip to England. Like, she was going to do one to Germany but my Boo-Bear and myself got her to consider a second trip to England with it. AND Mama said she wishes she could help me go, but it might be too much since we're dirt poor. SO... I'm going to sign up to get a job at Krogers. :/ Scared shitless, doing it anyways. But I dunno how I could pull it off cause I need my time after school for homework and I don't think I'd have time for it with a job. I dunno. If we're still not sure about how to get cash for it, then I'll sign up in December and save up. But if we can get cash for it, I'll wait until after the trip to get a job. Oh man... This is going to get oogly. :/

Okay... Finally got to see friends since we left early today. BUT when I talked to Paige E. (Who is super cute) I found out amorgan asked about if they've talked to me. Or something like that. Before I go on I am in no way offended or pissed. Just really confused. Okay. Paige said, and she couldn't remember it very well but Morgan may or may not have said like 'well we had a big fight over the summer but now were sortof friends again.' and she was weirded out. I'm confused because I don't know where she got that we were friends. :/ Cause if I thought we were friends, I would try to talk to her some. But I haven't soo.... -confused-.

So yeah, every day I think I slowly love Geert more and more. And I was just happy all day. Last night? I realized how much I love that guy. And every one says 'Oh good for you' but they don't realize how happy that feeling makes you. But it also made me wanna cry a little and I could only think it was because he's away from me. And though I know I'll get him in July -maybe- I still get a little sad thinking of him like I'm happy as hell, but there is sadness there. And it always hurts a little to think of him. I always ache when I think of him holding me or kissing me or touching me in general. But obviously I can't just walk to him and get rid of it. I'm a little worried I'm gonna cry when he finally gets here and I can hold him for once. To finally feel him. You know what I'm excited about most? His mannersisms and hearing him in conversations. Oh and his smell. And you can only get that stuff when you talk to some one in person. I can't wait :3

 I have a good song, I'm talking to an amazing guy.

Life is great right now <3

Adore - Paramore

I don't mean to run.
But every time you come around I feel more love than ever.
And I guess it's too much, maybe we're too young and I don't even know what's real.
But I know I never wanted anything so bad.
I've never wanted anyone so bad.
Help me come back down

If I let you love me.
Be the one adored.
Would you go all the way?
And be the one I'm looking.
If I let you love me.
Be the one adored
Would you go all the way?
Be the one I'm looking for (stay)

From high above the clouds.
But I blame this town.
And why do I deny the things that burn down deep I'm barely breathing.
But you just see a smile. And I don't want to let this go.
Really, I just want to know.

If I let you love
Be the one adored.
Would you go all the way?
And be the one I'm looking for.
If I let you love me.
Be the one adored.
Would you go all the way?
Be the one I'm looking for (Stay)

If I let you love me
Be the one adored.
Would you go all the way?
Be the one I'm looking for.
If I let you love me.
Be the one adored
Would you go all the way?
Be the one I'm looking for.

 So good news? Found there are exactly four students in Photo that are advanced photo, one of them me. Like the class itself is a mix of Photo 1, Adv. Photo, and AP. So having the fewest might mean we have the better assignments :D

Fun times.

Sadly there are bad news. I can't type worth shit. Or think for that matter. It was bad enough trying to get used to the Mac keyboard but now school is just fucking me up! I blame Physics. I mean, its a fun class and all cause we play cheesy games, but I can't think in French or when I get home because third takes up so much effort.

But that's about it. Oh and I'm kind of glad my bus gets here late. Don't get me wrong I'd love to see all my friends in the morning, but still. I found some personal pluses to arriving just in time for first.

Anyways...

Oh man. Geertface. Nothing bad, I'm just thinking about him. I usually think about him but I'm writing an entry so, hey I'l talk about him. Like i wish I could talk to everyone about him. Gabby and sortof Dj are the only ones who are like "Yes we know Geert." AND they're not gonna rat me out for dating someone via internet. But like, anyone else I'm scared to tell them or if I do I mess around with the truth so its less of a bad thing to them. Like I'm perfectly fine with it, but if there was anyway it would leak back to my parents, I'm screwed. I'll never have internet, I won't be able to do my normal stuff without parents over my shoulder, I wouldn't have Geert!!! He would be gone forever! I would lose him for life and I can't risk that. But I still wanna tell others. Like Daisy, I wanna be all "Oh yeah well me and my boyfriend yada yada yada" and know its not going to come back and bite me in the butt. 

Hell I wanna be able to tell my parents! I want them to know I have a boyfriend so Mom doesn't think every guy on the planet is trying to date me and tell me I should hook up with them (or at least imply it). I want to tell her and know its okay, but obviously that's won't happen. Like when he gets here, I'll be 18 and he'll be 21. And my parents are going to see that as  some creep is trying to get me drunk and sleep with me cause I'm not a minor anymore. And that's so not true! If anything its that I'm a creepy teenager that obsessed with this really sweet, nice, caring guy. 

But I can't. Because I'll never see him again.

 So the first week of school wasn't so bad. Hard to go through with it though xD

Okay, the half day? TONS of freashies at my bus stop and one assumed everyone was a freashie. It was funny as hell. 

Found out about my classes and I'm happy. I hate that I have fourth lunch but Mr. Schults is cool and lets us eat a little bit before class.

Lemmie tell you about my classes.

First photography. Kind of the same deal as last time, no one I really know and its boring at first because we don't have an assignment.

Second english. Francis? Awesome lady. She and Mrs. Corey are the ult and I can't wait for Shakespeare, mostly because Francis rules and I has tons of friends in that one. In my English class I have greg with me :D Fun times.

Third physics. You may think at first the class is going to suck balls beyond belief but its actually pretty awesome. We're going over what we learned in Chem. so we're not totally lost, and halfway through class we take a break, stretch and then play a cheesy game like 'Coner Ball' and 'You're Not Good At This' and 'This Is Similar To You're Not Good At This' (yes. That's the name of the actual game. Fucking rules!)

Fourth French 3. Pretty cool, but after Physics and fourth lunch I can't think worth a damn. Thankfully I have friends that can help me out which is awesome.

So yeah that's school. Its not so bad except I'd like to be able to see more of my friends between classes.

But for now I'll deal with it. NOW to the funny stuff.

Bus stop stories. There's two. The first happened Wed. I wore this button up top that kinda hangs low on its own. I walked to the bus stop, had a bagel in my hand and once there I looked down and noticed my backpack made the top button come undone. And my boobs were almost visible if it weren't for my backpack. I looked up and the Freashie that thinks everyone's a freashie had just walked up. So I held out my bagel and said "Hold my breakfast."

He said "No!" and I tilted my head, looked at him all annoyed and said "PLEASE?!"

He (very obviously) glance down, looked back up and said "Oh!" and took my breakfast so I could fix it. Funny as hell.

The second one? Funnier. 

I, like all the smart kids who don't wanna hold all their crap, sat down on the sidewalk. Everyone else was also sitting but one kid.  He was kindof standing over me talk to the Freashie that thinks everyone's a freashie, and I was randomly putting in my say or explaining something, and suddenly the one standing up goes "You're probably not gonna be aloud to wear that shirt."

I looked down and looked up and said it was prolly okay and the 2 inch rule, or what I knew of it, and he nodded and then I said ever so politely, "But thanks for looking at them."

He slowly backed away from me and stared at his feet.

Fantastic! LOL it was awesome. And  the best part of it was after I told Jenn when we were in Homeroom, we walked out and saw him coming out of the cafeteria. Best. laugh. ever.

And last night Gabby slept over and we had fun. She now has a fetish for my left leg.

OH we created this really cool thing though. Its called RAVE-S-VISION. The S stands for SLAVE. We control you now. (Go to my Facebook and you'll know what I'm talking about)

But we're gonna be doing that now and I want all my friends to at least model once. Dj will do it more then once though because he will get paid in Gabby kisses and molestation. SO DO IT DJ!!!! LOL

And Geertface. He has to model for me. Regardless if its for RAVE VISION or not. I want pictures of him. He said he'd let me do it, but he'll still try and hide which isn't letting me do it so...

Oh man. But Gabby and I ended up talking about prom, and Gabby is going to try to get Geert here for prom and will even help pay for like a hotel or something for him to stay in. I fucking love Gabby. Like if no one knows this, she's the reason why I'm always "OMG HE'S SO CUTE HE'S SO ADORABLE OMG OMG OMG OMG GEERT GEERT GEERT!!!!" so... you can thank her for your headaches cause by my love for him xD. LOL.

But like, if that does happen I'll prolly cry of joy. Like, the fact that she would help us is just amazing. I knew she was fantastic but this just... holy crap. And like once i get a job next summer (hopefully) I could help out too. And then once he's her, even for a little while, he'll have a decent place to stay and food. And my love. He'll always have my love :3

So yeah if that ever happens... I owe her for life. I owe her big time just for introducing us to each other, and then this. Oh man. Like, the whole prom thing, just having him possibly there would be great and doing the 8th grade sway will be fantastic. Even if we can't do the whole bump and grind I'll be happy he's there <3 (he says he can't dance. I'll teach him <3) And like then we're going to make plan to go for food after prom but really go to his hotel room so we could make out intensely. Going to be GREAT!

I can't wait.

 I was really happy today! SUPER HAPPY!! 

LOL School was okay, but I have fourth lunch D: I can't wait that long!!

Photo should be okay, english won't be too bad, I'm confident about Physics surprisingly (He said hell try to make it easy for us plus he's pretty cool) and French is French so.

The only bad side was that Gabby was supposed to come over and she couldn't cause she didn't have a note and my bus driver is a butthead who follows the rules and prolly takes it up the butt for those rules >/

So I'm typing this instead of impregnating Gabby.

FUN. -is extremely moody- -period should be starting soon- -might kill some one- -don't piss me off- -I'll throw a bitch fit-

EDIT::

Fine Geert I won't make your delicious picture my wallpaper in my room. Fine! (LOL)

 I'm enjoying my Mac greatly.

LOL I took toooonnnnnssss of pictures. Tons!

I want Gabby here to be silly with though D: And my Geertface :3

I lloooves my Geertface. <3<3<3<3<3

I just hate Harrison for being a butthead to me about the whole thing D:<

 LOLZ I'M ON OUR NEW MAC COMPUTER ATOTALLY FAILING AT CAPS LOCK AND TYPING.

:D

But seriously. Life is pretty good. I;ve been dreaming more about Geert (excluding the zombie dream I had >> that was weird.)

So yeah.

School shopping.

Super fun, but it totally killed my feet. Mom and I have been walking around since yesterday basically. And she's been waking me up early so that when school comes I'm not totally dying. But as you can see, with me typing the entry at, oh lets say midnight shall we? This plan of hers isn't working out exactly. And I really need it to work xD

But yeah... OMG Mac is so cool!

Anyways.. Yeah we got a shit ton for school and then some.

I have at least four new pairs of shoes and we plan to get at least one or two more, I have loads of new jeans and even a pairs of grey skinny jeans :D and I don't look weird in them which is cool. Umm... I have a ton of new tops that are adorable :D And we're still going to get some more prolly if Mom sticks to her word on letting me get a couple of guy flannel shirts.

And then we still need jewelry. >>

All that PLUS clothes for Mom, Dad, and brother, a shoe rack for my room, new bedding stuff for my room, tons of new kitchen stuffs, a new computer for the family, a laptop for my brother (and the lucky bastard has a touch iPOD too!), tons of socks, a fuzzy pillow and a pair of orange sunglasses.

Boo-yah.

LMAO :D

OMG middle school obsessions are awesome. <3

LOL anyways...

God I am in such a great mood xD

. . . Well I'm gonna go make a character that Half - Human,  Half -Cactus.

YES thats what I said. It happened when  drunk man was dared by his friends to go hump a cactus and he happened to hit the female parts. <3 Then died. >_>

This is what happens when I can't fall asleep and my imagination goes nuts.

( She woke up )

>> Okay... so that's it :D

Saw the Harry Potter movie with Bomb-Squad and some other dude who wanted to leave me alone at the mall SO I COULD GET RAPED while he and Bomb-Squad go home for nerdling things. Thankfully Zack wouldn't let me stay there to get raped.

But yeah movie was okay. Prolly would have made more sense if I had watch the others but its cool. I just don't wanna end up like the girl that was all "OMGOMGOMGROOOOONNNNNN I LOOOOOVVEEE YOU I WANT YOUR BEBEHZ!!!!!"

Let me explain.

Because I can't get on the computer to talk to Geert on the weekends, and because it kills us to be away for a mere moment. (Hold on lemie send him something....

okay) So I came up with him send me direct messages on Twitter and I'll reply back on my phone. It works. Beautifully. (Gabby knows. I told her what happened~) And its just. Even today, I can get on the computer, as you can tell, and talk to him. The first thing I did when I woke up? Send him a message on twitter. Now you see were I'm worried.

And it wasn't even that, so much as I left my phone on my bed and went to the bathroom and came back like "Omg I bet he replied!" and when I didn't have a reply. . . I was sad. And I had tot talk to myself and b... hold on.

Okay. So like I had to tell myself not to worry and that he just hasn't gotten online to twitter yet. I almost hyperventilated when my phone buzzed, I was freaking out and It was, of course twitter. He said "Hey sunshine" <3

Lol but last night. Last night was great. Fucking fantastic.

Omg, oh my god. Heehe -grins-

I feel like that 6th grade girl that just found out a guy has a crush on her. Like I nearly squeal every time I get a message from him, I bounce in my seat when I see his reply on Gaia, hell I'm grinning like an idiot just thinking about him now.

And I'm really hoping I can be a good girlfriend to him. I'm trying, but I'm a little worried he thinks I'm a slut... well we're both perverts so its works xD But I'm trying to be good. Like when I was helping mom clean the house a bit yesterday, I would sneak messages to him... hold on. Okay, but I would sneak him texts saying I love you and *kisses* and I miss you. Just cute stuff. Heehe he loved it too I think. And he liked it when I called him 'Baby cakes' once xD lol

And just, everything with us seems more real now that he might be coming here. Like, we just possibly planned a date to the Cove just now. Okay I told him I had a dream with the two of us snuggling at this kind of lake type area and he said "We should do that sometime" and I was like, "Well here in the K-Town we have this place called "the cove" we could go there when you're here!"

He hasn't replied... hold on...Okay he said cool which is kind of like yes so -cheers-

. . . Yeah you can see how bad it is. Anytime I've said hold on? It was twitter. Saying I got a message. From Geert <3g